How to Celebrate ITLAPD when You're a Missionary

How to Celebrate International Talk Like a Pirate Day when you're a Missionary
by Stephanie Spotts & Angela Johnson (with a little help from Brian Spotts)

For Neal

10. Drink all the IBC root rum you can find.

9. Plunder your First Mate's (companion's) neck tie stash.

8. Introduce yourself as Elder “Skinny Bones” Johnson.

7. Translate the First Vision into Pirate Speak.

6. Draw a mustache on your First Mate's face while he's sleeping.

5. Throw water balloon cannon balls at landlubbers as you ride by on your bike.

4. Make your District swab the deck in your flat.

3. Hide sardines in your First Mate's breakfast.

2. Call the Sisters Wenches. If they slap you, you probably deserve that.

1. Make the investigators walk the plank.....right in the baptismal font.