The Sound of Music Parodies

My SINCEREST apologies to Rodgers and Hammerstein.  But seriously, when you are playing a nun in The Sound of Music, as I did in the summer of 1997, you get kind of bored.  Not kind of.  REALLY BORED.  Tons of down time.  So what did I do?  I wrote a couple of parodies on "My Favorite Things" and "The Sound of Music".  I've shared them with various people over the years; most notably the cast of the 2002 Loveland High School production of the show.  And now, in honor of my current sinus infections (and one of my least favorite things being sinus infections), here are the parodies.  Enjoy!

The Sound of Mucous

My day with a cold has come to an end, I know.
My nose is now clear, and so I don’t have to blow.
But deep in my nasal cavity, is something that wants to stay.  
So I pause and I wait and listen for one more sound,
For one more ugly thing that my nose might say.

My nose is alive with the sound of mucous.
With stuff that’s been there for a thousand years.
My cold fills my nose with the sound of mucous.
My nose wants to blow ‘till I’m close to tears.

My hacking cough sounds like the birds that rise
From the lake to the trees
My wheezes are loud as the chime that flies
From a church on a breeze.
My eyes are so swollen that I trip and fall
Over stones in my way.
I sneeze through the night
Like a moose that is learning to bray.

I go to the hills ‘till my cold gets better.
I know I will sneeze like I’ve sneezed before.
My nose will be cursed with the sound of mucous.
And I’ll sneeze once more.


My Least Favorite Things

Raindrops on laundry and sharp claws on kittens,
Burning hot steering wheels and wet woolen mittens,
Brown paper packages from the Unabomber,
These are a few of my least favorite words.
Wild bucking ponies and burnt apple strudels,
Phone calls at dinner and overcooked noodles,
Wild geese that mess up the playground swings,
These are a few of my least favorite things.
Girls in tight dresses with extra large figures,
Snowflakes that stay and won’t scrape off the winders,
Silver-white Winters that stay all through Springs,
These are a few of my least favorite things.
When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I’m feeling sad.
Those are a few of my least favorite things,
And they make me feel so bad.

I took a few liberties with rhyming on this one, but whatever...

And once again...my deepest, sincerest apologies to Rodgers and Hammerstein.  They are rolling in their graves over these, I'm sure!!!