The Perfect Explanation

Wow.  I just read a paragraph in a book that totally sums up my life.

The single life is a life of uncertainty.  I'll always wonder if or when I'll get married.  But I remind myself that everyone has to deal with uncertainty.  Some people worry about having a job or whether they'll ever have children.  Others have disabled children and worry for their future.  My particular uncertainty is marriage.  Yes, I want to get married, but not to just anyone.  I want the right person.  Romance -- it's one of those things that seems so unimportant, yet, in a way, it is at the center of everything.

Wow.  Just wow.  Thank you, Rebecca H. Jamison.  You hit the nail on the head.  (The book is Persuasion:  A Latter-Day Tale, by the way.  A modern version of Jane Austen's Persuasion, which is my most favorite of her books.)

26 Brides for 26 Brothers?

You know how in Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, Adam says "He figured on using all twenty-six letters of the alphabet right down to Zachariah.  But when he got one look at Gideon here, he went out and chopped a tree down on himself."?  Well, what if Ma and Pa Pontipee had made it all the way to 26?  have you ever sat and pondered what the names might be?  Probably not.   But since I'm insane...I have!  Here's my list:

• Adam
• Benjamin
• Caleb
• Daniel
• Ephraim
• Frank(insence)
• Gideon
• Hiram (King of Tyre, friend of David & Solomon)
• Isaiah
• Jesse (There are so many J names to choose from!  Joshua, John, Jacob, Jonah, Joseph...)
• Keturah (A girl...Wife of Abraham after Sarah's death)
• Luke (or Levi)
• Matthew (or Mark or Malachi or Michael or Moses)
• Nathanael (or Noah or Naomi, if it was a girl)
• Obadiah (but he would go by "Sky")
• Paul (or Peter or Phillip)
• Quiver (There were no "Q" names in the Bible, so Ma named him Quiver, because with 17 kids, her quiver was full.)
• Reuben (or if it was a girl...Ruth, Rachel, or Rebekah)
• Saul (or Seth or Simeon or Solomon or Samuel or Sarah, if it was a girl)
• Timothy
• Uzziah
• Vashti (Queen of Ahasuerus, she was deposed in favor of Esther)
• Wine (No "W" names.  Pa liked to drink a lot by this point.)
• Yeshua (Hebrew spelling of Jesus)
• Zachariah

I am such a nerd.

Musical Theatre Characters Who Should Have Gone to Jail

Since I'm currently in rehearsals for a production of Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, it stands to reason that a subject foremost in my mind is characters in musicals that totally should have been arrested.  As my friend Scotty "Frank Pontipee" Shaffer said, “the most fun you’ll ever have watching a musical about Mass Kidnapping and Stockholm syndrome!”

So I am setting out to create this list of some well known musical theatre characters and what they would have been charged with:

• Bill Starbuck - 110 in the Shade - Fraud
• Julian Marsh - 42nd Street - Molestation
• The Beast - Beauty and the Beast - Kidnapping
• Gaston - Beauty and the Beast - Aggravated Assault
• Huckleberry Finn - Big River - Assisting a runway slave
• Jeff - Brigadoon - 2nd Degree Murder
• Conrad Birdie - Bye Bye Birdie - Solicitation of a minor
• Billy Bigelow - Carousel  - Domestic Abuse (even though I maintain that he only hit her the one time.)
• El Gallo - The Fantasticks - Solicitation of a minor
• The Baker & Baker's Wife - Into the Woods - Fraud (when they bought Milky White from Jack)
• Joseph's Brothers - Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat - Human trafficking
• Scar - The Lion King - Murder
• Sister Julia - Nunsense - 3rd Degree Murder
• Ali Hakim - Oklahoma! - Selling drugs
• Jud Fry - Oklahoma! - Aggravated Assault
• Captain Hook - Peter Pan - Kidnapping
• The Phantom - Phantom  & The Phantom of the Opera - Murder, Destruction of Property, Kidnapping, Stalking, Menacing
• Max Bialystock & Leo Bloom - The Producers - Fraud and Racketeering
• Dr. Craven - The Secret Garden - Domestic Abuse
• Adam Pontipee - Seven Brides for Seven Brothers - Marrying Milly under false pretenses (I'm sure that's a punishable offense, I just can't think of the official term.  Fraud, maybe?)
• The Pontipee Brothers - Seven Brides for Seven Brothers - Kidnapping
• Bloody Mary - South Pacific - Pimping (Hello!  Trying to get Joe Cable to sleep with her 16 year old daughter?!  What else would that be?!)

This is obviously an incomplete list.  I left off characters that DID get arrested (like Mrs. Meers in Thoroughly Modern Millie) or that their crimes were obvious and really part of the plot.  Like Harold Hill in The Music Man.  But I still put the Phantom on there, because his list was long.  Anyway, let me know of any others you think should be on here.

New Dancing with the Stars Cast

As we have in the past, join me as I read the latest cast list of Dancing with the Stars.  I haven't heard any rumors this time, other than that Maks won't be on it this time.  Let's take a look at the list and I'll give you my instant reactions:

• Gladys Knight - Wow...That ought to be interesting.
• Melissa Gilbert - Awwww...Laura Ingalls!  (Oh, and look!  She's dancing with Maks!)
• Jack Wagner - I know who he is, but I can't say I've seen his work.
• Gavin DeGraw - The name sounds familiar...
• Donald Driver - I don't know who that is.
• Roshon Fegan - Who?
• Katherine Jenkins - I don't know who she is either, but it says she's an operatic pop star from Wales.  That makes me like her already.  And she's dancing with Mark Ballas, my favorite pro!
• William Levy - Again....who?
• Maria Menounos - Okay, she's pretty cool.
• Martina Navratilova - She's pretty much the last athlete I would have ever expected to be on this show.  But I guess we'll see!  She's dancing with Tony and he's a good teacher!
• Sherri Shepherd - She's funny!  This'll be good.
• Jaleel White - URKEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, this will be another interesting season in the ballroom!

A couple of Oscar thoughts

I took notes while watching the Oscars last night.  Here they are, with added thoughts in blue.

• I was expecting a funny cold open.  Not that Morgan Freeman isn't awesome, but still...
• Ha ha...never mind!!
• Okay, seriously...Billy Crystal should host the Oscars every single year!!!
• Sandra Bullock = :)
• Yay for Octavia Spencer!  She is fan-FREAKING-tastic in that movie!!!  (And what a gorgeous dress!!!) 
• I'm kind of liking the non-traditional orchestra.  (They got annoying later.)
• Focus Group Spoof was funny!!
• Cirque du Soleil part was AWESOME!
• Robert Downey Jr. & Gwyneth Paltrow = so funny!  (I look forward to see the documentary "The Presenter".  LOL!)
• I don't care how many movies he's done or how much he hated making that one, but Christopher Plummer will always be Captain Von Trapp in "The Sound of Music".
• I <3 Meryl Streep!!!
• Dear Natalie Portman:  Don't clap on the envelope when it's next to the microphone.
• Yay for Jean DuJardin!!!  (He is amazing in "The Artist"!  Absolutely AMAZING!!)
• Meryl Streep beat Viola Davis?!?!  Whaaaaaaaaaat?????  (I love me some Meryl Streep, but Viola was robbed.)
• Meryl is one classy lady!!!
• THE ARTIST WINS BEST PICTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• It was a good year for Oscar.  Some surprises, some....not surprises.  A good night!

Bless her beautiful hide...

Mark your calendars, folks!  I have another show you must come and see!

I will be playing Mrs. Sander in the Union Colony Dinner Theatre's upcoming production of "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers".  The show runs April 6th through May 20th.  This will be the last show at the UCDT while it is owned by Cathy & Raja Salaymeh.  The new owner will be Brandon Bill and he'll be taking over after May 20th. 

I am THRILLED to be able to work at the UCDT again.  I did "Fiddler on the Roof" there about 4 years ago and that was one of the best shows I have ever been involved in.  It's such a great theater!  Love them!

I'm also thrilled to be doing "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers".  That is my favorite movie musical.  I'm not as familiar with the stage version, having only seen it once or maybe twice.  It's a little different.  But the essence of the story is there and some of the great songs from the movie.  The cast is fantastic, and we are going to have a fabulous time!

So whatever you do, don't miss this awesome show!!!

www.ucdinnertheatre.com

Relationship FAIL!

I imagine the following happens more often than we think:

Boy sees Girl.

Boy thinks "Wow, I'd kinda like to ask her out.  But look at her...she's so busy with her career.   She won't have time for me.  I'll ask out somebody else."

Girl thinks "Why doesn't anyone ask me out?  I'd like to get married, but there seems to be no chance of that happening, so I'll focus on my career.  I have to do SOMETHING."

D'OH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Epic fail.

Favorite Super Bowl Commericals 2012

There were some really great commercials this year!  I kept a list during the game so I could remember which ones I liked.

In 3rd place:  The Hyundai Cheetah


In 2nd place: Oikos & John Stamos


And in 1st place, with the most consistent belly laughs from my family...

Chevy Mayan Apocalypse


Honorable mention goes to:

Hyundai - Singing
Audi - Vampires
M&Ms - Naked
Doritos - Big Dog
Doritos - Slingshot Baby
The Voice - Betty White
Honda - Ferris Buehler
Pepsi Max- Check out

Special mention for overall cuteness goes to:
Coca Cola (All Ads)

I'm not going to put the links for all of the Honorable Mentions, but you can find any of them on You Tube!

Oh, and the game was good, too.  It's always nice when it comes down to the very last second instead of someone running away with it.  (Says the girl who went to her college's National Championship game and they won 51-0.)

Movie Recommendation: The Artist

Back in November, I read the following review of The Artist in Entertainment Weekly:

READ THIS REVIEW!!

I wanted to see the movie IMMEDIATELY!!!  However, it wasn't showing anywhere in Colorado.  I started hearing a lot of buzz about the movie, but I never could find where it was showing.  It was finally about 2 weeks ago that I saw it was showing at a theater in Boulder.  Well, FINALLY it made it to the Cinemark in Fort Collins, so Shauna and I went to see it this past Monday.  (I would say I was dying to see the movie, but I'm trying not to make any more bad-taste jokes about people dying in the restroom at the Cinemark.)

It's interesting to see Silent Movies.  The actors have to do so much more acting then when they can speak their lines.  It's all about facial expressions and movement.  When there's a line you need to know, they put up a dialogue card.  Any actor can give a good performance with a great script.  Meryl Streep can give a great performance with a bad script.  But what about when there is no dialogue?  What are you going to hide behind then?  Nothing!  The ability to convey a story without any talking and still have the audience know what the heck is going on....well, that's simply amazing!

I really loved this movie.  It shows you exactly what it was like as Hollywood transitioned from Silent Movies to Talkies.  There were a lot of actors who got left behind, mainly because they couldn't handle the dialogue required.  My friend Jonathan told me about an actor named Fatty Arbuckle, who couldn't make it in the Talkies because his voice sounded weird compared to his looks.  He was great as a Silent Actor, but that all went away with the advent of Sound.  This is what happens in The Artist.  George Valentin (Jean Dujardin) his a mega-star in the Silent Movies.  But when he finds out about Talkies, he laughs.  He says no one wants to hear him talk.  He tries to make one last grand silent film and finances it himself.  However, the movie tanks (no thanks to the Talkie opening down the street, not to mention the Stock Market Crash of 1929) and George loses everything.  While he is losing his career, Peppy Miller (Berenice Bejo) is shooting to stardom.  She ultimately saves Georges life and helps him regain his career.  I won't tell you what happens at the very end, because you need to see this movie for yourself, but in the very last moment we find out exactly why George didn't think he had a chance in Talkies.  It really took me by surprise!

This really is a fantastic movie about the history of Hollywood.  The only way this story could be told is as a silent movie, as that increases the impact of the ending.  And it's not totally silent.  There's a scene with some sound effects...and talking at the end.  This movie is an homage to Old Hollywood and should not be missed!

Oscar Nominations - Instant Reactions

Best Picture - The Help and War Horse were nominated!  I'm glad they increased the number of nominations.  Also, I DESPERATELY want to see The Artist!!!!

Best Actress - Viola Davis totally deserves that.  And what competition she has!  Wow!

Best Supporting Actress - I love me some Melissa McCarthy, but I hope that she doesn't win.  Based on the roles alone, others deserve that award more.  That's just how I feel.

Animated Feature - Wow.  For the first time since they created the category, I have not seen any of the films.  What is wrong with this picture?

Other thoughts - It's nice to see some of the movies I've seen this year up for various technical awards.  I really wish they would have made more of an effort to honor the entire Harry Potter series, though.

Congrats to all the nominees!