Personalized Spam

So, I heard that Spam was going to get more personal. Isn't that exciting? More e-mail that I don't wait...that's tailored just for me! JUST WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED!!!!!!!!! So, I looked at my e-mail account that gets the most Spam. My yahoo account currently has 446 messages in the Spam Folder. Let's see how personal it is, shall we?

Life Insurance (yes, I could probably use some of that.)
Get a REAL Visa (As opposed to the FAKE one I've been using for years?)
Credit Report (Seen it.)
Want Cash? (Why yes I do, but I doubt you're going to give to me for free...no strings attached)
eBay (It says I can retire early, but I don't think I have that much stuff that would sell. Beanie Babies aren't a viable commodity anymore.)
Something about Acai Berries (Wow...I can look good and feel good? That would be a first.)
Dating Online (Been there, done that...and I have the emotional scars to prove it.)
Cash Locator (Locate me some free money and we'll talk!)
Someone has a Crush on you (I highly doubt that.)
Need a checking account? (I've had one since I was 18, but thanks for asking!)
Let Google Make you money (Are they printing it now? Gosh, Google can do ANYTHING!)
College Financial Aid (That's what got me into this mess in the first place. I'm almost done paying off that financial aid...and I graduated from college almost 9 years ago.)
Free Sample of Folgers Gourmet (How personal can this be if they don't know that I don't drink coffee?)

It goes on and on like this for pages!!! Do these people really think that I care? Apparently they do, because they send me duplicates 5 times over. And that's just my yahoo account. My gmail account, which is my primary address, gets all kinds of sexually explicit Spam and stuff about Rolex Watches. Seriously...it's totally ridiculous! ABSOFREAKING STUPID!!!!!!!! Oh, and I got one the other day from "Facebook". Yeah, right. They sent to the address that is not associated with my Facebook account. Smart.

Do people have nothing better to do than send out this crap all the time? It's out of control.

/rant